The clock is ticking...

A little over 24 hours until my flight.  In fact this time tomorrow I will probably be waiting impatiently to board the plane at Cairo Airport.  I am going home.  For a visit.  I came here last May 9 and havent been back since.  17 months since I saw my kids--well except for an all too short visit from my daughter and her husband in March.  I didnt intend to make it this long without a visit home but stuff happens.  Things get in the way.  That's life I guess. But finally, finallllly, I am going home!

I have mixed emotions. Of course I am so happy I will soon see my kids. I am also thrilled the first 11 days will also be spent with my husband who is already there finishing up some work and waiting for me. He's only been gone since Saturday morning but my heart hurts with missing him so much. I'm also sooo looking forward to the Autumn weather which will turn to Winter while I am there. I miss rain and snow and falling leaves so much I cry just thinking about it. I'm excited about Thanksgiving and Black Friday and all the Christmas decorations, lights and music I will find in the stores. I miss Walmart! I miss so many things. I cant wait to drink it all in.

But at the same time, I must admit, Egypt is home. Yes...home. It took me a long time to feel this way but it's the truth now. For better and worse, this country is my home. I have to admit it's mostly because of my husband and the life we live here. Very happy together thank Allah. We've been married for nearly 14 months but I'd be lying if I said it didnt feel like maybe 20 or 30 years. We have grown very close and also established sweet little customs and daily routines that come now to me as easy as breathing. We know and love each other deeply, and understand each other so well. Together we have made a strong marriage and it's mostly for this reason I feel so at home here now.

I also have friends here now--and also helpers like my housekeeper and driver who make my life so much easier. I know how to get around everywhere and take care of most business. I love my home and being "just a housewife" (we all know there really isnt such a thing). So while I am thrilled beyond belief to be going back to the USA, I will be equally thrilled to come back here. In fact I wonder if I really will be able to last 2 whole months there. I have a feeling I might want to come back after 1 month but we will see. The plan is flexible. I am grateful to Allah that all my kids are very stable in the USA. All married and living life. I dont feel like they "need" me--I know they missed me and cat wait for me to come, but I am comforted tat they no longer depend on me--for their sakes. If it was up to me I'd keep them babies forever but that's no good for them. I am glad they are making it without me.

I spent the day doing laundry and cooking everything I had in the freezer into ready meals for my husband to heat in the microwave while I am gone. Thank GOD one of my adopted daughters came down from Port Said to help me these past few days. Without her I dont know how I would have made it. I almost had a panic attack today and if she hadnt been here I am pretty sure it wouldnt have been a pleasant scene. If I get too anxious I have a seizure and pass out and I dont know how I would have managed alone. God bless her really--she helped so much and kept me focused.

We are finally done doing everything we wanted to do today. The only thing left to do is finish the packing tomorrow--the last suitcase! I finally feel like I can relax. I am sure I will be all in a dither again tomorrow but I'll get through it. Everything always turns out OK as my son likes to remind me. And so the countdown continues.